What I do not have the ovaries to publish on Manning's blog/yahoo list serve

Subject: Gender, Sex, & The Church, etc. We in this diocese and "we" the c/Church world-wide, wonder, argue, and research if, why, and when we'll ordain and REALLY accept the ordination of women; we argue, wonder, and research if we can even accept non-heterosexuals (gay, Lesbian, bi-sexual, transgendered, Queer, and questioning" folk in our parishes, in our clergy, and we also wonder, argue, and research if we and the C/church can EVER "marry" non-heteroseuxals--by that, I mean, as clergy and as lay folk, if we can create and honour some sort of "sacrament" for non-heterosexuals that looks like and carries the same weight in culture as marriage/matrimony. I think the questions MUST be less general and more specific. I was raised in a state in the US called Mississippi, a place and people known for slavery and great weatlh, for the most horrible atrocities against African-Americans EVER and ANYWHERE (that has not gone away; it remains and it is real. The racism is MS is scarier today than it was in 1968. I lived in MS from 1953 to 1979; last year when I returned for my mother's funeral, IN ONE DAY of driving less than five hours, I saw more C/confederate battle flags than I have ever seen in my entire life (and that includes an "Ole Miss"/University of MS football game where the symbols used to be that flag and "Colonel Reb." (But that is another story for another day.) MS and the Deep South of the US are not alone within the USA in their fearfulness of "other." Outsiders are viewed with fear; anyone different is viewed with fear. This is in direct opposition to every little town in MS in which I've lived or visited--every town has its resident "queer." It's known but never discussed. Some gossip, yes, but discussion NO! And NEVER within the presence of the person for "it would hurt his feelin's so." Sadly this beloved gay/Lesbian person (usually male and gay, interestingingly enough) is often a renegade member of an affluent, old, powerful and monied family; we can afford to "accept" (and by accept I do not mean that Mr Jimmy can EVER bring his lover to his home, that Miss Ethel Ann, can NEVER be a member of NOW or let it be known that she is pierced--so Miss Ethel Ann MUST go outside the community (usually another state) for health care and when she is cremated we all hope to hell and heaven that it is one particular funeral home/crematorium business who is in charge of her remains and cremains, for he is the ONLY person who will NEVER tell. If she has a heart attack, God forbid, in public and is rushed to the local hospital, before it is ever known if she will live or die, the medical and nursing staff will have notified EVERYONE they know within a 5 state radius about her piercing. (It's a wonder any of the Miss Ethels EVER survive with all the people on the telephone.) But WOE--Wo! I say-- to any African-American, Latino-a migrant farm worker new to the Deep South (fillin up the pews of very scary evangelical churches), poor (po white trash or PWT) or middle-class ordinary white person who is gay/Lesbian/bi-sexual (we can hardly begin to form the worlds "transgendered" for it all seems just too demonic to way too many.) There is something really "scape-goat" about this one "acceptable" person who gets to live out his charming, fabulous taste, gorgeous home, ancient family silver service for 50 within this community. He is the ONE who gets to be gay/queer/bi/Lesbian for everyone else. And since we, the local community of that town in MS, refuse to allow him any sex or sexuality, we ALL must be pure, too. It really fecks one up as the Irish say. But I digress. We of the C/church world-wide and the C/church in Panama cannot begin to speak out to the diocese, Republic, and world at large until we can speak to our own. Shall we begin? I say that charity begins at home and if we the Church are EVER going to respond and react and behave as Jesus would (I will NOT say "....behave as Christians would behave" for we know far too well the evils and atrocities of Christianity!), we must FIRST accept and love and care for our own gay and Lesbian clergy. Has everyone's heart stopped beating yet? Did she just say "we have GAY clergy in Panama?" Yes, she did. OH NO and WOE! I go to diocesan meetings; I have great "gaydar." It's not my business to "out" anyone and I won't. But statistically, let's be real. If one out of every ten persons is some sort of "gay"--non-heterosexual, the chances are REALLY great that there is at least ONE non-heter within our own. Does anyone know this but me? Or does "everyone" know this and we don't talk about it? If, say, we have a homosexual who is married with children, does that person EVER tell his confessor, spiritual director, bishop, seminary professor somewhere during The Process towards ordination? And I'm "queer" because I'm a latex lovin sub and I have yet to find a space with enough a/c in Panama that would allow me to wear a latex dress with my opera length latex gloves and my latex boots! And if someone created a dungeon, it might really be cool, as in temperature cool and I might just have to go live there....Resident latex hermit? So then when my beloved spouse calls for clergy dialogue, I expect he really means we'll all talk about own our sexualities and our own joys and struggles. But he's a new Episcopalian and does not know that we don't do that. We are smart people, cut off at the necks, who would speak GENERALLY and NEVER specifically about sex and sexuality. If we're REALLY smart and/or academic, we'll cite other academics and smart people and MAYBE the bible; if we're smart and possibly academic, we MIGHT cite THE BIBLE (with SOME context, history, or possibility of eons of lost bits, eons of verbal culture, and mischance of translation)--for we ALL KNOW THAT THE BIBLE IS THE VERY WORD OF GOD, from God's brain to God's pen..how ridiculous...God with a pen..or better, God with a turkey feather and some home-made ink--no BICS for God!!!!!!! Tell me, does God, then, get handcramps from writing? And in what language does God write, pray tell? Ah, you say, the Good Queen's English? No, but NO, the good (and gay) KING'S English (that would be good and gay King James--and EVERY good Christian knows this is a true fact!!! And if we're ignorant and fearful and terrified of our own sexuality or something that MIGHT be something we like sexual that's not 2.5 minutes of man-on-top-of-woman with the woman having no pleasure and neither of them having a second's worth of a fantasy that the other might be Liam Neesom, Desmond Tutu (doesn't everyone fantasize about Desmond in our beds? Yum) Barry White, Oscar Romero, Louis Weil, Bill Countryman, the local firefighter, Madonna (either one), Ann Cromey, Eva Peron, Ana Murray (double yum), Jennifer Lopez (if she never speaks, just stands there with her darling great big butt), Francis of Assisi, La Morenita (the ONLY Mary, mother of Jesus I want to have sex with..and she's pregnant!), Mary Magdelene (triple yum), Alice Waters, or JESUS HELP ME JEEZUS!!!!??? (Did she just say she finds Jesus sexy or mi DIOS, that she fantasizes of Jesus in her bed??? Yes, she did, but you did not ask her if she fantasizes a male Jesus, a female Jeus, a gay Jesus, a Lesbian Jesus, or a BISEXUAL Jesus, my most favorite Jesus of all--having Jesus, Mary Magdalen, AND that male disciple that Jesus loved all in my bed doing sexual stuff--all at the same time....Yes Yes Yes and MORE, por favor.)....If we're that ignorant and fearful, we'll certainly use THE BIBLE as our ONLY resource, for it's the only resource we need, and certainly quote as the bible something that has NEVER been in the bible!!! Och, and there's a rant for ye now....